Getting REAL
As a psychotherapist I’ve spent the past 20 years working with trauma. I’ve studied and learned from the best, then explored new ways of healing, which led to developing my own modality- Embodied Equine Psychotherapy.
I started my career treating addiction, working with both inner city youth in LA and the rich and famous in Malibu. What became so abundantly clear, was that the opposite of addiction isn’t sobriety, it’s connection.
As humans we are herd animals, just like horses. But we have moved away from this way of living, of being, and in doing so, we have a society drowning in anxiety and depression.
A few years back I was auditing a clinic taught by a big name eventer. One of the horses was refusing often and finally just planted his feet. He was done, he didn’t want to move.
The clinician had the rider kick harder, then add the crop.
It took everything in me not to run out there and tell him to stop. This was NOT a horse issue, the teenager piloting this gelding around was scared.
Every time she pointed him towards a fence, she kicked him on but I could feel the “no” inside of her, and so could the horse.
The night after that clinic, I vowed to do what I could to prevent this situation from ever happening again. A month later I launched The REAL Equestrian.
R- Relationship
E- Effectiveness
A- Authenticity
L- Leadership
I have yet to meet a human who hasn’t experienced a trauma, but I’ve met many who’ve said they haven’t. Although when I explain the definition of trauma - the lasting emotional response that often results from living through a distressing event, they realize that they have had at least a few of those experiences.
What often happens as the result of trauma, and honestly, as a result of being raised in a society where we value intellect over emotion, is that we become disconnected from our bodies.
Which means, we are not aware of the sensations, the way our body speaks to us, we have shut that down. BUT!!! Here lies the big problem. Those physical sensations may not be tended to by us, but they are heard loud and clear by our horses. So while the teenager was kicking on, her body was saying stop, and that’s what the horse responded to.
The other big piece is the inability to truly connect with our horses (and other humans). How could we, if we are disconnected from ourselves?
Connection may be the answer. But it has to start with a deep dive into your own being. It has to start with authenticity.
The REAL Equestrian is about getting real. Having the tough and important conversations. It’s about building healing and trusting relationships within the barn walls and out in the world.
It’s about fairness to the horses, about taking responsibility for what we bring into the tack.
It’s about leading from inspiration rather than intimidation, and letting down the walls, asking for help.
I work with both competitors and non competitive riders, but it’s never just about winning, it’s about finding yourself, and what truly matters to you… it’s about loving who you are both in and out of the tack.
